Loving My Life as Wife, Mother and Grandmother

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Hoping for a Blessed 2009..

Well, it has definately been a while since I posted. I guess you could say I've been a little depressed. Back in December, we went in for my daughter's first o.b visit. They did an ultrasound to determine the actual due date. They couldn't find a heartbeat. We had them wait another week and do another ultrasound. Still no heartbeat. A week later the Doctor had to do a D.& C. We have all been pretty saddened by this. I had been dissapointed with the timing of course, but still; I was very much looking forward to a new sweet baby. The dad took it pretty hard, just as I did and my daughter. He lost his brother back in September to a brain hemorraghe. His older brother was my oldest daughter's boyfriend. We had felt that God was allowing this baby to come along to help us all heal a little. So, it didn't make any sense to me at all when I found out it wasn't going to be happening. I rarely question God; but this was definately one of those times when I was doing some very deep thinking. The only thing that's been making me feel better is concentrating on the fact that I truly believe I will see this baby (my first grandbaby) in Heaven. Through a lot of praying, I am finally starting to feel a little better. The hospital does a burial every couple of months for any families that lost wee-ones. They actually have a burial spot and service for these little angels. I think this really helps. It makes you feel like it was something and mattered. It's good for the healing that needs to take place. The service will be later this month. My daughter's boyfriend gave her an engagement ring. She won't be planning a wedding anytime soon, but he was planning on marrying her and I guess he wanted her to know he still loved her and wasn't going anywhere. He bought her a tiny chihuaha puppy for Christmas. He is black and white (looks like a little cow!) and adorable. His name is Mickey. He is 8 weeks now. I hate to say it, but I have kind of taken it over! I've put all my love and sadness into loving this little guy! It seems to be helping too..I actually think it is helping my depression and taking my mind off of things. The wierd thing is he seems to be helping everyone in the house..My youngest has Tourettes. His tics have been greatly improved since Mickey came!! He is a little angel!! Despite the little accidents, it has been a very good thing!! My daughter seems to be doing pretty good too. She stays very busy which I think helps a lot.
We have really been trying to get back on track with the homeschooling the last 2 weeks. We had just been so distracted by all that was going on..so I am glad things are starting to settle down now.
We bought a white tree this year for Christmas. I decided to leave it up and decorate it with snowflakes and snowmen..It's actually kind of cute. I thought when it gets a little closer here to Valentines Day, we'll make some Heart decorations and put on it too! Those will make nice art projects...
We still haven't had any real snow here...a little one morning but then it quickly melted. I am just absolutely praying for some snow...I love it when it's in the trees and bushes!! Well, that's all for now...I am hoping 2009 brings blessings my families way!! And yours too!! Love, Jerelene

1 comment:

Fifi said...

Jerelene, I'm saddened to hear of the heartache you and your family have been going through. You will be in my prayers.